Observations?
My lack of computer and internet access are no new dilemmas. At one point, I had started the practice of writing down (on piece and paper). These were some of the points that really shocked me.. I’m guessing that must’ve been pretty early in my placement since some of the observations seem to be pretty basic:
- Vanuatu get the most aid per GDP. In spite of this, AusAid and NZAid just recently increased their aid to Vanuatu. Needless to say that these aid is to be spend in accordance with their foreign policy, so we don’t have to worry about it actually being useful
- Women don’t care much about appearance. More like, people generally don’t care *as much* as we are brain-washed to care back in North America. But to this observation, one fellow volunteer replied that there was maybe just a different kind or level of superficial-ness. Fair enough. Still trying to recognize or understand this different kind of superficial-ness. But going back to the point, the concept of beauty is *very* different. Just the other day, I had a co-worker ask me why all these actresses such as Nicole Kidman were so popular, especially since they weren’t good-looking at all.
- I’ve attended a number of performances, more specifically church-sponsored concerts (what’s the right word for them: choirs?). But most of the times there was at least one heckler in the audience.
- No privacy at work: people will come and read over your shoulder or peer onto the screen and this isn’t considered rude or anything
- Ghettofication in progress: social fabric is stronger than others, but certainly not strong enough to prevent all the problems that come with urbanization
- Shyness is more common here than back home in North America. It’s cute, the whole shyness thing. Our culture promotes confidence and out-going-ness too much, to the extent that it becomes annoying and that certain innocence in people is lost.
- Don’t ask people “how far” something is: the watch is a new introduction and so is the vehicle. Therefore, “how far” is strictly dependant on how fast you’re walking and what you’re carrying. So, moral of the story is, don’t ask this very “relative” question, ‘cuz all you’ll get is a very “relative” answer
- In Bislama, there is only one word for the self “mi”, but when referring to the group, there is plenty: Mitrifala, mitufala, mifala, yufala, yutufala, yutrifala, yumi. Interesting because you can assume the degree of collectiveness of the culture simply by this one fact.
- We were recommended, strongly, to not follow any kind of schedule. Black magic, “nakaimas” is frequently practiced here and following any kind of pattern puts you at an increased risk of being on the receiving end of such acts.
- There is no word for “frustrated” or “impatient” in Bislama. So far, the only word I have learnt to express displeasure of any kind is “cranky”, which is crazy or angry. In fact, to say that you are unhappy, you say “mi no happy tumas” i.e. I’m not too happy. Interesting, very interesting!
- Political correctness doesn’t exist here. Or people are politically correct only about certain things. Or people feel that volunteers and expats are an exception to political correctness rules. That’s the only thing that would explain why people ask the following three questions as an introduction and without any hesitation: (1) where you sleep, (2) if you are married and (3) how old you are
- A noticeable portion of the population that was against independence. I wonder if this has ever been the case in any other independence/nationalistic struggles.
Children from mixed-marriages are called “half-caste”
i Miss.
You know what I miss the most? I miss the muslim community. I miss not having to explain again-and-again-and-again-and-again what the hijab is or why I can't drink alcohol or why I can only marry Muslims or why Muslims are NOT satan/sun worshippers or how the Quran doesn't command Muslims to kill all non-believers or how my parents don't force me to wear hijab or how I wear skirts *not* because I'm not allowed pants, but because I want to respect the host culture where females wearing pants are sometimes frowned upon.
Yes, I realize that this is a really huge opoprtunity that I've been chosen for, to explain to others and to clarify their misunderstandings about Islam/Muslims. But at one point, it all just gets too frustrating. It all ends up just being a too taxing, emotionally and intellectually.
Yes, yes yes, I'm being whiny. This is nothing compared to the struggles other people have to face on a daily basis. But, just wanted to write this post to say to the Muslim community back in Canada: thank you.
I think we don't thank each other often enough. Yes, there are politics. Yes, there are disagreements. And yes, there is judgementalism. But still, I can't wait to be back in Canada where I'm one of the *many* hijabis or salat-praying people, rather than the *only* head-scarf-wearing-person in the entire city and only the second on the entire island!
hijabis: those who wear a hijab. Hijab is the head-scarf Muslim women wear
Try explaining to people that your prayer direction is determined by the sun since the Kaaba is to the West of Vanuatu, but still you do *not* worship the sun. And again, try doing all this Bislama. Half the times even I don't know what I've said to people!
Enjoying Placement
You know you're really enjoying your placement when
- the "challenges" part of your activity report is the hardest to compile and takes the longest to finish
- you are the first person to offer explanations for the lackings of your workplaces
- you can't remember the last time you got frustrated beyond the level of "oh man!" frustration
- when you stay awake at night, trying to find ways to convince yourself that a second extension wouldn't be *such* a great idea
- when you are offered contract extensions by not one, not two but three different perspective employers
national council of women...
I’m working with the Vanuatu National Council of Women on a consulting/volunteer basis. And without going into too much depth (just because I’m unclear of the confidentiality level required of me), I can say this much: the parliament and area council, island council and provincial councils structure doesn’t work., possibly because it’s a foreign introduction and therefore cursed to fail regardless of how strongly some organizations, funders and other supporters propagate its relevance etc. In contrast, the chief and nakamals do work, however they don’t necessarily fit with out present-day understanding of human rights and equal access, especially for minority groups such as women and youth.
So, what’s the solution?
Utopia
Love Patrol, an education and HIV awareness program taking the form of a 10-part series has been previewing and Wan Smol Bag** over the past few weeks.
I was very impressed by the digital, acting and script quality of the entire play. But, there was a certain dialogue:
Expat: I thought this place was called paradise on Earth
Police Officer: no place is paradise
Expat: Well you should call this place hell on earth *fumes off*
It was certainly a humorous exchange, but the reason I mentioned this was because I’ve been struggling with this lately. There is no (visible) poverty, homelessness or hunger here in Vanuatu; it’s very easy to jump to the automatic conclusion then that this is “almost utopia.” But it’s just a matter of scratching the surface to find out about some of the very intense and recurrent social problems. But, just because these are not visible and because they have no direct effect on me, it’s extremely hard to fight this simplification of seeing the country as “utopia.”
I guess it was best summarized by a friend who said “it might be utopia for her.” Utopia might be possible, but universal utopia might not be. So, utopia can be relative?
**Wan Smol Bag is an organization that uses theatre to address problems like domestic violence. They also have a youth drop in centre, health clinic and facilities such as a computer lab and free computer classes. They are the only organization in the entire country that are doing this kind of work. I heard that the founders of the organization were initially working on a similar project in Zimbabwe, but had to leave due to political circumstances.
Workplace: Did I mention collectivism?
So I’m sitting through a three hour meeting where we have to review and approve funding proposals asking for a maximum of 2M Vatu ($20,000). And while sitting through this somewhat-long meeting, I realize that my counterpart is working on a funding proposal which is great news since sometimes I have (hidden/unexpressed) complaints about her not taking initiative and having a tendency to avoid work. But this is the interesting thing: this funding proposal has nothing to do with the women or the Women’s Development Office. In fact, it is something that an acquaintance of a work colleague needed help with. They asked Janet, and she (had to?) say yes.
But what’s interesting is that she isn’t doing a slapdash job at it; she’s giving it her best shot. What’s even more interesting is that things/services/tasks like these are what she can never count towards her “this is what I accomplished” reports. So, did she say yes because people know social relations have greater importance than work output numbers? Did she say yes because she doesn’t know better, or didn’t realize the extent of work involved? Or did she say yes because, by virtue of being a collective culture, individual accomplishments don’t hold the importance or appeal that we experience in North America?
More space to make mistakes…
It’s dangerous to be making generalized statements about work culture, not only because generalized statements always have exceptions but also because so many of the social demands, taboos and responsibilities don’t apply to volunteers; in fact, as an outsider, we often are completely oblivious to these demands or protocols. But in spite of the above, one thing I have increasingly noticed is the lack of “strictness” at work. That’s not to say that the people aren’t professional. But just seems like there’s more space, both at work and in leisure time, to make mistakes and let go. I am attending provincial meetings on the official level; I still observe people cracking jokes or talking silently within themselves. And this isn’t taken as a sign of disrespect or in-attention by the speaker; simply something part of human interaction where it is sort of hard, if not impossible to maintain absolute silence and attention for a good hour or two straight.
Some would argue that this automatically means that there is decreased work output and efficiency. In response to that I would say that in spite of having several conflicting personalities at work, there continues to be this surprisingly high level of (superficial) calmness, maybe due to the social protocol that discourages open conflict. And I doubt that this superficial-calmness would be possible were people over-stressed with meeting a certain quota of work every day or week.
While on this topic, another observation: people talk here, well “stoyean” to be more exact. But to say that they sometimes talk things to death might not be too much of an exaggeration, but yet, taking this time to talk makes the entire consensus bilding process easier, less painful and less mechanical (as was my observation while serving on board for WPIRG). That’s not to say that there aren’t people who continue to be dissatisfied, but still allowing everybody an opportunity to talk at least takes the responsibility of any future problems away from you, as the meeting facilitator; besides, than you can’t be labeled with such fun and arbitrary tags as “racist”, “oppressive”, “facist”, “bossy” or whatever other stuff we love to throw at each other.
Power Politics
So, I usually try to completely avoid talking about politics since the future seems extremely bleak, especially when it comes down to politicians making decisions for the public versus pocketing money. But for anybody really interested in learning about the power politics happening on this side of the world, I’d say the following article does quite a good job of providing a quick summary.
The New Pacific Wall: The U.S., Australia, and New Zealand Control the Pacific Islands (Worldpess.org) If you don’t have the time to read, than the following quote and picture is enough to get a glimpse:
Pacific Island votes at the UN are openly for sale and it is often an extremely dirty business. Although several countries in the region are disappearing as a result of global warming, both Nauru and Kiribati voted against the Kyoto Protocol.
On a side note, I was actually living right next to this Fijian girl who’s running a business in Vanuatu but who’s brother (who works for the Fijian military) is accompanying/assisting the US and British forces in Afghanistan. I usually try to not let political differences get in the way of friendship, but the stories she would tell me of what her brother “boasted” of doing back in Afghanistan made it absolutely impossible for me to continue interacting with her.
Self-Determination
Anecdote: A 13-year-old wanted me to find her a job. So, in response, I told her that it’s more important for her to study at this point so that she could make decisions for herself in the longer run. So, basically, I withheld information and assistance and made a decision for her, since that was in her “best interest”, in the longer run.Cultural re-affirmation, traditional economy, preventing or discouraging people from coming to urban areas, wanting people to see the beauty and superiority of their own belief system and lifestyle. Even if all this is a well-meaning and politically-correct agenda in the social justice circles, it still remains just that: an agenda.
It’s almost like they don’t know what’s good for them so we, as outsiders, need to come in and “save” them from our evil brothers and sisters. But, really, some of us are evil but still we are superior because we can not only exploit you but also be your saviour.
Either way, the concept or ideology of self-determination is an agenda pushed by another, somebody other than the “self”. So is it self-determination at all?
West Papua
So, something that I was completely unaware of until coming to this part of the world: Indonesia is colonizing West Papua. And as always, money and natural resources is the motivator. And the kind of atrocities they’ve been committing are, in one word, outrageous.
It’s really amazing that we as Muslims in North America are actively working against the various forms of colonization that Muslim countries all over the world have to face, but fail to even acknowledge that there is a Muslim country doing the same thing to others.
I’m guessing the following link might be give comprehensive, even if strongly-biased, information on Indonesia’s aggression:
http://www.freewestpapua.org/On a side note, there was this overwhelming feeling of guilt during the entire orientation session on West Papua: simply by virtue of being Muslim, I felt I was somehow responsible for what Indonesia has done to the people of West Papua. Is this how Caucasians feel whenever attending the very frequent colonization and anti-colonization sessions? Is this how practicing Christians feel whenever learning about the harm done by the missionaries to the traditional structure, knowledge and practices of the host nationals?
Women in Nakamals
So, I recently finished working on a $1.4M proposal for a national project to increase the number of women represented in provincial and national councils, and it seems *very* likely that this proposal will be approved by a number of funding agencies. But within some communities, women, socially and culturally, aren’t even allowed to sit inside the traditional meeting rooms called Nakamals. I’ve been assured that they are still “allowed” to voice their concerns, but just makes one wonder if we are trying to jump too many steps and or introducing too foreign a concept in the entire political, social and cultural system.
Superstitions
Being in a place that receives so many volunteers, one not only has a chance to learn about Melanesian culture but also about the places of origins of these volunteers. I’m working with a mid-30-year old from the Philippines. Somehow we started talking about superstitions in our cultures, and this is what I found out:
if you hear a gecko talking, or chirping, or whatever it is that it does, than that means you’re going to get a visitor (she said that it might even extend to getting phone calls :P) if you’re single and eating out with others who are committed or have partners already, the server should never collect your plates (the single person’s) until everybody has finished eating if there’s a death in your family, you shouldn’t shower in your own house until the body is buried If your eating a fork or spoon drops and your single, then there’s a prospect on the horizon (didn’t ask if this applies to couples as well; if yes, might not be the best idea to go about dropping your cutlery) If a butterfly circles you at your home than that means a guest or stranger is going to come
Hand lines
If there’s one thing you have in Vanuatu, it’s time. Lots of time. And one becomes *very* observant during this new-found time.
So, my latest observation is as follows: my palm lines have changed. I don’t mean like a slight additional line here or there. I mean an entirely new branch has appeared, and a very noticeable portion of another line has completely vanished.
I can finally make the claim that I am walking-talking-proof against something; I know, palmistry is not the most fascinating thing to disprove, especially since most of us already don’t believe it. But still, I disproved *something* :P
One of a kind
Do we, as volunteers, enjoy out time so much not only because of the special treatment we receive, the increased hospitality and improved sense of worth because of the “charitable” work, but also because being “one of a kind” gets you places: because standing out, visually, gives you recognition and affords you access into things and all that other stuff that comes with “fame”?
Reverse Racism?
So my landlords are finally starting to “de-frost” to my presence. Not that I blame them for their not-so-hospitable attitude. After all, he is the director for the national museum / cultural centre and is known, nationally and internationally, for all the work he has done. Not that being famous automatically certifies them to being mean. But, before I digress, point of this post: so they were asking if I had any DVD’s of my place back home (i.e Pakistan, or maybe even India? I’m pretty sure they weren’t referring to Canada as “my place”.) But yes, the lady made some comment about how she’s tired of watching movies with “white man” *signaling to skin* and that she appreciates watching movies about Africans (I’m not sure if she meant African-American or African-African) or any other movie but that of the “white man.”
But isn't it that the "whites" are victims since there is growing “us-vs-them” mentality in the world? Does it justify to have this feeling of animosity and jealousy if, as a group, they have so much and others not as much? What about the common “we worked for it” claim made by certain not-so-aware individuals? Also what about the fact that they miss out on some *very* invaluable things such as being able unable to understand the culture just because they are “white” and myself, “colored”? Or is this the price they pay for all the un-acknowledged benefits they experience?
On a side note, I was told by a Caucasian friend that there is a “us-vs-them” mentality in some of my posts. And ever since, I’ve started noticing the way Ni-Vans talk. And it’s interesting, because that’s the exact thing they do while talking about volunteers and expats. So something as simple as talking to my counterpart and saying that she has to follow-up with the carpenter to make sure that he gets us the bookcase we’ve been asking for, her reply was: “be hemi no lissen to me *signaling to skin* sipos yu tok-tok witem hem, hemi mas lisnem lo yu” but he won’t listen to me, but if you talk to him, than he’ll probably listen to you. Is this a matter of identity that people simplify to simply skin color for the sake of making things easier to communicate? Or is this really how things are perceived by people?
On a positive note, I’m still struggling, but I’m half-way to being treated like a “black man” rather than a “white man.” While that automatically implies that people are less “caring” or “careful” around you, it still feels good to know that you are getting at least a chance to somewhat understand the host culture and country.
Ending note: how do you differentiate between “Caring” and “Careful”: how do you tell when others are treating you with care, and when others are simply being careful around your?
What I miss most
Dana’s leaving in two weeks or less. So there’s much talk about what she’s looking forward to and whether she thinks “it’s time” to return. During one of the nukerous coffee nights, she asked what I missed the most from Canada. Earlier, I thought I would’ve said family and all that other stuff, but here’s what I *really* miss:
the impatience during Friday’s Fed Bus ride back home and the anxiety to see familypraying Jummah (Friday prayer) and SLC’s third floor prayer roomknowing that I could always find somebody to have a conversation with in front of the second floor prayer roomgetting attacked by hugs by other Muslim (and non-Muslim) girls on campusrandom chats with the turnkey guy or girlstaying up till random morning hours in the library and studying (or trying to study)my brother’s jokesvisits to extended family on weekends and sitting next to my dadi-jan (grandma)my mom’s daily “new bulletin” calls where I received updates on everybody (sister, dad, extended family in Canada and US) and their wellbeinggoing out for coffee with friends at Tim HortonssleeplessnessDuring my entire departure time, I kept thinking / preparing to miss my family. But not once did I think I would miss the Muslim community as much as I do. To say that I can’t wait to pray prayers in congregation back in Waterloo or Mississauga would be far beyond under-estimation!
Very convenient
I just realized that it’s very convenient for me to just sit around and talk about all the privilege I have but not really bother doing anything. I mean, that way, you avoid the blame of being ignorant, unrealistic or selfish; in fact you get applause for being so self-conscious and for the “intense” self-reflection.
But the whole talk makes you feel so good that you have to never bother doing anything; you can continue sitting in your nice home with electricity, running water and food, saying all those “enlightened” things and never be forced ors elf-motivated to five up even a miniscule part of all that you’ve been blessed with.
The net is “giaman”
Giaman means liar in Bislama and just so you know, the net lies. Before going, I had tried looking over the net to see if kava was an intoxicant and therefore, not allowed for consumption in Islam. I only come across websites denying the popular “myth”.
Ever since coming here, I have tried kava a total of three times and all three times I was getting signs to not continue: the first time I threw up, the second time I couldn’t sleep and the third time I got “seagrass” i.e. allergy where you go crazy scratching yourself. The third time was also my last time.
But recently I found out that kava, even though not like alcohol, is still an narcotic drug, and therefore, forbidden for consumption in Islam. So all who read the “Nigerian lady” bashing post should also know that when it comes down to it, she was right and I was wrong. As embarrassing and painful as it is for me to admit this, still wanted to put up the post incase any Muslim readers are offered kava and got the wrong information from this blog. Serves me right for being so vocal about my dislike…
Ambitious-ness
So, recently I realized that I’m not feeling competitive or ambitious: I don’t feel the need to conquer the world (I mean figuratively, of course… or do I *suspense music background*:P). Is this because I’m growing up? Because the international experience has humbled me to realize how much (or lack of) of power we as individuals have? Because I’m disillusioned by the state of the world? Or because the Melanesian’s laid back style is affecting me?
