Vanuatu

Reply to Vanuatu concerns

So, I mentioned something to a friend about my fears of this first international placement, and this is her email in reponse (yes, the .... indicates censorship :P)

and here it is:

...

vanuatu!!!! congratulations to you buddy. oh Assalam alaykum btw. but vanuatu!!! that must be so exciting and cool and nerve-wrecking. 6 days. unbelievable. I read your post on vanuatu and all your emotions are so real...y'know every ramadan, i have this struggle. I want to make this ramadan, the best ever, spiritually speaking. I crave for that connection with Allah, y'know that moment when your spirit takes flight, you feel so blessed and relieved, and for an instant, a brief instant you feel like you've experienced the sweetness of faith. It comes sometimes after a powerful lecture, or an emotionally intense experience when you know no one in this world is capable of helping you out, and Allah brings you back to Him because your soul realizes that is the only place to seek refuge. or after a beautiful dua or a heartwarming recitation. anyway....all of ramadan that's my and everyone's constant struggle..

having said that, I'm incredibly jealous that you get to go all the way to vanuatu. let me explain myself. Buddy everything you said in your post that makes you scared, that every thing will Inshallah only bring you closer to Allah. those moments when you feel so distant from your family and friends, in an alien culture, constantly having to define who you are, constantly keeping your iman in check..it is in those environments that we fortify ourselves. It is those times our iman becomes solid, we begin to put complete trust in Allah.

Added to that the natural beauty of Vanuatu plus seeing life first hand of what some not-so-privileged people experience in Ramadan, subhanAllah. Did I mention, I'm incredibly jealous. When I was in Ottawa, my workplace looked out to the Ottawa river...a simple river, hardly
comparable to wide expanse of the oceans you'll witness, but I'm telling you there's such simple serenity in nature, it's uncomparable. At school I rush past the trees and shrubs and little animals that scurry past me, only thinking about what assignments i have to work on, but there were times when I sat down for a very long time just looking at one tree that had shed all its leaves and it made a perfect picture frame for the river beyond. the bold strokes, the unimaginable detail, man it makes you wonder why people don't believe.

My advice to you, which you no doubt have considered many times, is to make your intention to
make your iman stronger and spend all the time when you have nothing to do, to learn more about this deen..i feel like an incredible hypocrite saying this, considering I've spent the past three weeks doing absolutely nothing. zilch. nada. But I remember before leaving for Ottawa I was in a spiritually bereft state, y'know the time when you wonder what kind of empty Muslim you are, and I made a promise that I'll spend the next four months becoming a better Muslim.
I'm telling you I had no idea what lay ahead of me, but the next four months, Allah presented me with so many opportunities that took so little effort on my part, it was amazing.

Every time you feel scared and lonely, dude remember He is the only one who can protect us all, and remember your parents that are probably spending several sleepless nights praying for you. I heard once that a traveller's duas are readily accepted. Please take this opportunity to make lots of duas

...

Assalam alaykum

posted by faa-T @ 5:59 PM 0 comments

Vanuatu-Fears

I'M AFRAID THAT MY TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE MIGHT NOT BE ADEQUATE:

Even though I have been offered this position (which might have been due to the severe lack of applicants) I highly doubt my own capabilities and abilities to perform the required task. Sure, I've been doing this very thing in Mississauga and Waterloo for the past 3+ years, both on a volunteer and a paid basis. But this is VERY different, because I don't foresee any resource or help that was available at every point here in Canada, neither do I think there exists a system for you to dig-out and learn information on an as-needed basis (Supposedly the Shefa centre still does not have an internet connection!) . I just really hope that I don't hopelessly disappoint both my employers in Canada and in Vanuatu with my inability and lack of skills to perform the required tasks.

SCARED THAT I WILL GET CRAZY-HOME-SICK:

For all those who personally know me, you know that I would die for my family any day. I am so very-attached to them, and the thought of being away from them for 6 months straight is VERY daunting. And yes, I realize that I've been living away for the past 24 months, but that's VERY different cuz I get to see them at least once every 3 weeks, if not EVERY single weekend. So, pray for me that I get over my homesickness soon and that I find some way to enjoy "Paradise on Earth" insipite of being away from loved ones (and now I sound all sappy and over-the-top, so i'll stop.... you can stop barfing now! :P)

SCARED OF THE RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCE, RELIGIOUS EXPECTATIONS AND RELIGIOUS RESPONSIBILITES:

So, Vanautu is 68% Christian and the remaining are Animist. It would be a very safe assumption to say that most people would have never met a Muslim, let alone a Hijabi Muslim, let alone a Hijabi Muslim, with eye-brow piercing, who is representing Canada but doesn't look white. VERY scared on whether or not I will be able to give them a good-enough face of Muslims from all over the world, and whether I will be able to do justice in explaining Islam to them (which I will obviously be asked about). Similarly, very scared because I will be spending Ramadan and Eid there, and don't know how much I will be able to benefit from the blessed months when there is no family or friends to share iftar with and no taraweeh prayers to go to at night. Also, very scared about the kind of religious sacrifices and exceptions I will have to make.. I think it's a safe assumption to say that there will be no arrangement for halal food. So, either I go all-vegeterian (if possible) or else start eating non-zabeeha chicken / meat.

SCARED OF THE IMPERIALIST IDEOLOGY THAT I AM TAKING WITH ME:

So, Vanautu just gained indpenedance from a co-rule between France and England. Needless to say, there parlimantry and government systems are in their "pre-ripening" stages, there is substantial risk and unrest (there was a recent government-overthrow-thing in 2004), and people are still trying to get out of the coloniast ideology. At this point, for me to go and "train" ni-Vanautu on skills that might not complement, or ultimately, endanger their present way of life and culture is something very scary; for all those who know me, this is the very thing I speak out against all the time, this is the very thing that the Americans are doing in Iraq, Iran and Afghanistan, and this is very thing I mock all the time. For me to go to a place that I do not know, in a culture that I do not understand, a land that I do not belong to, and unconsciously implement my belief system and my Western way of life is... ironical, to say the least.

SCARED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO STAY IN TOUCH:

very simply, if they do not have reliable internet access, if the phone lines are too expensive than I'm truly out of luck since mail (letter, no packages) takes a min. of 3 weeks, one way. Not scared, just anxious more so, on how I will manage to stay out of touch with my family and some friends for such long period of time.

SCARED ON WHETHER I AM MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE:

Just a bit of background that I was offered positions in three possible countries: Ghana, Laos and Vanautu. I picked the third, namely because I have no interest in Central Asia for now and Ghana would not give me too much freedom in terms of exploring the surrounding areas. I'm VERY doubtful about my decision because the other two also have their own pros: -- Ghana has a high Muslim population that I might've been working with as part of my job-- Laos is home to lots of Budhist monastries, a religious that I have been meaning to learn more about for a VERY long time.

SCARED ON WHETHER IT'LL BE WORTH IT

Will this experience be worth taking an year off school? Will I be able to find something to do for the next 9 months? Or will I waste and while them away sitting at home?

SCARED OF BEING BORED

For a workaholic like me, one of the most horrendous situations is when there is no work and you can't "create" any work for yourself either. I am VERY scared of this situation arising in Vanautu; I am very very scared that two months down the road I will realize that I have run out of "things to do" and so, all that is left for me to do is just sit around and do nothing.... doesn't seem like a scary thought right now, especially to those readers in school and swamped with assignments like myself, but I assure you this boredom can be ultimate death for your motivation and enthusiasm!

I'M SCARED OF BEING SCARED:

I'll be VERY honest at this point: while my stay in Vancouver I got REALLY scared of some of the animist-related beliefs. Why scared? I haven't been able to understand... all this time I had been amazed and intrigued by the Native culture because it seemed like a lot of their principles and ideology was very much inline with the Islamic belief system, specifically the whole respecting-you-elders thing. That, and the fact taht they have been abused and opressed for over a century now was enough to gain my sympathy and empathy. However, while watching a one-hour dance created and performed by Australian natives, I got extremely scared... scared to the extent that I just wanted to run out of the shobono*.. the performance was a no-exit thing so I had to stick around and watch the entire thing. Now, for those who have never been to any Native performances, there is nothing vulgar or offensive about them; there is a lot of drum-beating, horn-blowing and cultural dance, however I for one was simply overwhemled. Again, for those who are offended by this comment or intrigued, I do not have any answers for you, neither do I have any rationale explanation behind this experience. All I can tell you is that I was petrified, petrified to death!! I really need some alone-time to think over my experiences in Vancouver, note them down and understand them.. unfortunately, seems like time is the only thing I do not have. Regardless, I will be updated this blog with a VERY detailed account at some point, probaly after I leave for Vanuatu. However, I foresee a very similar kind of fear in going away to Vanuatu!*tent sorta thing, sort of what is stereotypcally portrayed as the "house" of Native Indians.

DISCLAIMER:

Lastly, I realize that this post is EXTREMELY judgemental and stereotypical. I will probably be shocked at how unrealistic my expectations are, that some of my fears will evaporate the second I step off the place and some unthought-off fears will surface and haunt me for my entire stay. All I can say in my defence is that it is impossible for me to have no expectation, especially for something that I have fought so much for (ask my parents about the arguments *ahem* discussions) and that I have dreamed of for-oh-so-long.

posted by faa-T @ 5:57 PM 0 comments

Vanuatu

Wondering what in the world Vanuatu is?

Check it

Supposedly, the most linguistically diverse country on the planet, a country that is made up of 83 islands and is placed in the middle of Fiji and Australia.

Why am I talking about Vanuatu?

Simply 'cuz I'll be working there for a FULL SIX MONTHS, starting September Inshallah. That means I'll have to take an year off school and
...

So, back to the whole Vanuatu subject: I am leaving for a CUSO/CIDA sponsored position; I'll be training the women and staff to use the IT centre present at the Shefa Women's Provincial Centre. The position details are posted here: insert link

Ps: Shefa is a province, home to the country's capital, Port Vila, where I'll be working.

I will probably get all of December off to tour around, and so can probaly visit all 7 provinces of Vanuatu and maybe even take a trip to Fiji or Papua New Guinea (expenses permitting). Very excited because some of these people, esp. in the rural areas, are still living a very "unadultered" lifestyle (in terms of being influenced by the Western life style).

I also get langauge training in Bismala and can probably learn French for very cheap if I decide I have the time and ambition to do so.

This place was rated as the "Happiest Place on Earth" by some magazine; it was also referred to as "Paradise on Earth" by some of its residents. This, coupled with how much I have heard of Fiji's and Australia's beauty, is making me expect lots of natural beauty.

There isn't much activity, other than purely-nature-indulgent stuff, such as snorkeling, swimming, hiking and sitting around watching the tress sway in wind. There are famous golf-courses, horse-riding ranches and other things of that sort but these are purely the territory of rich Westerners, and even if I am able to afford this stuff I would prefer not to partake in it at all -- simply because if the locals can't afford to do it, than it's not their culture, and therefore, I shouldn't bother wasting my time and money on it either.

So far this post has been ultra-positive, but fear not, there is a "I'm scared" version coming right after this! :P

For all those who read this, I ask you to please make dua (i.e pray to God, that is, if you believe in one) that all goes well, that this experience is worth whatever minor stuff I have had to sacrifice, that I am able to gain the most from it and that I come back with something that the whole community and preferably the entire world (yes, VERY cliche *rolls eyes*) can benefit from!

Imma end this post, simply because it has gotten too long and because I'm scared that I've already lost all my readers by this point. As an ending note I'm going to re-state my excitement for this placement; it is truly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I hope that I am able to make the most of this experience!

posted by faa-T @ 5:57 PM 2 comments