Bollywood Lied to Me!
So, whenever somebody asks me what the hell was going through my mind when I decided to take the boat from Tanna back to Efate, this is the explanation I offer:
Well, in bollywood movies, the boat ride is always the portion where the movie's actor (or actress) goes through a major light-bulb moment and finally understands the meaning of life and the purpose of their being. Not far behind as a motivator is the fact that more often than not, it is also at this point when the protagonist meet's the man or woman of their dreams.
So, that said, it just made common sense for me to take the boat back from Tanna. After all, who doesn't want to figure out the meaning of life AND meet the guy of their dreams, all within 24 hours! :P
Well, even though I never ended up achieving either of the two above (did I mention there was no singing or dancing either?!), I can say that I still had quite an interesting experience where I threw up a lot and cursed myself for the horrible decision the rest of the time. However, I also had some magical man come up and give me magical pills that, as soon as I ate, put me out like that *snaps finger* for a good 3 or 4 hours. (Well, I found out after that this magical man was in fact the captain and those magical pills were in fact sea-sick pills). But needless to say, before knowing the above-two points, it wasn't the wisest decision.
I also witnessed the process of getting 800 watermellons onto the ship, without the ship ever docking onto a wharf. AFter all, if it did get any closer to the wharf, it would have to pay the docking fee. So, yes, imagine 800 water mellons being put on board through a single-file man-chain. Did I also mention that it was in these three hours that I got the most sea sick and therefore, vomitted the most?
Oh, lastly, there were about 50 - 100 people on the ship. And there were two washrooms between all of us, one for male and one for female. The only glitch? None of the washrooms worked.
So, the only way I didn't need to use them was because I was out cold for 90% of the 23-hour ship trip. I had also decided to not eat anything for the 8-10 hours before. But I am still curious about how all those people who were eating through the trip survived it without having to use the washrooms. One of those life mysteries will never find out the answer to,I guess :P
Nigerian lady
So, I went to visit this Nigerian family's house on Sunday. They had invited me over once before, but there were no follow-up visits as neither of us two fancied each other too much. Why was I turned off her? Lots of minor cues, but primarily her comment about how Pakistanis are extremist/militant in their ideologies. It was not the comment that got to me, but the fact that she felt it was appropriate to say such a overtly-offensive statement in front of somebody who was of that very descent).
But then I saw them at the masjid on Friday, and thought that I should give the lady a second chance, maybe I was wrong at reading her the first time around. But this time I'm even more strongly repelled off by her. She's lived in this country for a good 10 years now and still doesn't know bislama. When asked what she does on weekends, she just said "I hate weekends; there isn't anything to do". That seemed to be something that I would expect only from a teenager. Anyway, after we started talking about other stuff and she was saying something about kava and I told her that I've tried it. I am *not* kidding you when I say this: she got off her seat in disgust and then sat back down. Even if it was alcohol I had tried, I wouldn't have accepted this kind of blatant response from a Muslim. When I asked her why she thinks it's so wrong, she said that kava is the same thing as alcohol, to which I replied no, it isn't like drugs and alcohol, as it is NOT an intoxicant. Infact, it's the complete opposite: it sedates you. So, excess amount of it would certainly not be recommended in any scenario since it makes you lazy, but it is not haram in the absolute terms. All this time while I was saying this, she was vigorously shaking her head from side-to-side, trying to let me know that she disagreed with the point I was making. Then, later, we started talking about chicken. The following dialouge ensued:
Lady: So, you only eat vegetables here?
Me: Well, I try most of the time. But I've started eating chicken and meat sometimes... (not finished yet)
Lady: WHAT!! Even though you KNOW it's haram. (a sarcastic, condescending laugh followed this comment)
Me: Yes (getting defensive) but I've read a few fatwas from shcolars back in North America that say that it is acceptable to eat non-halal chicken and meat when no alternative is available
Lady: Well, you know Toa farms, they have halal chicken!!!
Me: Umm, where is Toa farms?
Lady: (mock laughter again) You don't know where Toa farms is!!!?
Me: Umm, no (wanting to add: I've been for only 2 months here lady! please cut me some slack!)
Lady: Well, it's on the way to mele
Me: Can I catch a bus to that place?
Lady: I don't know.
Me: Okay
Needless to say that silence ensued after this and the rest of the coversation was merely senseless chit-chat used to kill time until the visit ended.
I know I shouldn't have such strong dislike for her, as it is not her fault for being like this; it's probably because she had limited experiences. But still, it really frustrates me to see that not only is she the wife of the most intellectual muslim in the community(and country?!) but also that she is raising three kids with this kind of attitude: no suprises if they also end up retaining the same judgementalism (I think that's the 7th new English word I've used).
Contract Extended
I was orignally supposed to return end of March, but my contract has been extended until end of August on account of there being too much (or me being too slow to finish work). Either way, that means I'll be away from family and friends till end of August, 2007. On the positive side, this buys me time to get involved in the non-technical aspects of my organization. For instance, I can get involved in doing capacity building with women leaders so taht we can have increased representation in the next provincial and national elections. *Excited*! :)
Thank You
"Ya Allah! Thank you for not only allowing the luxury to dream, but also, the almost impossible opportunity to see *all* those dreams fulfilled and turned into reality. Thank you for keeping me aware of when my reality is something I had dreamt of earlier, and thank you for always giving me other things to dream for I would be lost in this life without having something to dream for and strive for.
Ya Allah! Forgive me for the uncountable moments of lack of gratitude, for the unthinkable times when it's easier for my to wallow in self-pity than look at what I'm doing wrong. Forgive me for not remaining in a constant state of gratitude and thankfulness to you, and allow me the ability to get as close to this state of "eternal satisfaction" as is humanly possible."
Ever had one of those "Eureka" sort of moments where you realize that everything you have *ever* dreamed of or wished of, God (if you believe in one) has granted you that every-something without fail! And you realize that everything in the world is just plain perfect for that one moment. You realize that this sense of "everything is alright" will not stay, that you will get caught up in this minor glitches of life that don't deserve as much attention as you afford to them. But instead of worrying about how to make this feeling of "eternal satisfaction" or "eternal gratitude" last forever, in my opinion the better thing to do is to live that moment at the fullest (whatever that might mean and/or entail of).
I had one of those moments today, while walking back from a "High Tea" party this evening. Truly, this entire experience has been nothing short of amazing.. in fact, amazing is an understatement. Perfect is more like it. Even at times when it gets oh-so-lonely, it only means that I'm able to truly appreciate how long an hour is, or how long a day *really* is. To realize that; to realize that there are these small droplets that we readily waste away; to realize that these droplets can be used here and there to work on long-awaited self-improvement projects; to realize how much family truly means to us; to realize that our life goals and dream jobs aren't exactly as "dreamy" as we had anticipated or imagined; to realize that no matter what you dream of, when that dream turns to reality, it is less glamorous, less perfect and more "real" with a lot of those minor details that we don't, and possibly can't, daydream about; lastly, to realize that all those realizations are only possible when your not surrounded by those who you love or who you can freely interact with.
So, more of an ode to those who are struggling to get to their dreams: enjoy the process of getting there, because the end is only worth the struggle put in to get to it. Also, a note of reminder for myself; when I'm getting cranky and impatient with the most minor of life obstacles, that things are always "perfect"; one just needs to keep refocusing their lens as they move, one just needs to keep changing the definition of "perfect" along the way.
I also realized that while I still have issues with the power structure and how those in privelege don't realize the unconscious power they have over others, I also realize that a lot of times my rants come from my lack of social ability or more so, my preference to not risk revealing oneself to those one doesn't know *yet*. So, as one of my other posts mention, I fully and readily accept the charge that I use my boogey man as a scapegoat; as a way to avoid taking blame where it truly is deserved i.e. with myself. That said, I still have to figure out a way to do away with the need of a boogey man in the quest to live life.
Note: I've been told that my blog has been a bit "intense" (aka hateful?) so I thought I'd share this moment with everybody else, along with the other moments of not-so-much fun times here in the South Pacific. Hopefully this puts things in perspective not only for myself but for others as well.
Fat-Fat
This is going up on Dana's request :P
You know you're fat when:
- when people call you fat-fat
- when people stare at your cheeks, then your tummy, then your cheeks, then your tummy, and then tell you you're fat-fat
- when people tell you to stop sleeping in front of a fan because "people get fat that way"
- when you can't fit into your old pants
- when you start coming up reasons why your ethinic group could *never* fit the criteria of beauty outlined by Caucasian countries
- when you think anything-fashion-related is part of a conspiracy against you
- when you are told "yu fat-fat tumas" (you are too fat)
- when you are greeted with "What are you eating fat-eema"
- when you are greeted with "stop eating whatever you are eating"
- when you start identifying with the guy from "Fat Albert" even though you've never seen the movie
- when you start coming up with stereotypes such as "fat people are always nicer / happier"
- when you explain to everybody, without them ever asking or bringing up the topic: "I get atleast 5 - 7 hours of exercise every week"
and my personal favorite- when you can feel your cheeks flapping up and down while walking down a hill
ps: I think I've fulfilled my quote for "lightheartedness" for this month. Don't expect any thing other than cynical posts for the next few weeks :P
Culture-retention
How can I strongly feel for and be working towards the goal of culture retention here in the Pacific but be working towards the exact opposite goal back in Canada. I feel that a lot of times, within the religious-social-circles (but not the religion itself) there is a strong push towards loosing *all* of our ethnic cultures, for me that'd be South-Asian-ness, for others it might be something else rather than merely certain oppressive facets of it.
Culture and Religion
So, a lot of times, while in North America, we talk about the difference between culture and religion. Especially for those second-generation kids whose parents are from another part of the world, e.g. South Asia, Middle East, Africa, etc, but they themselves have been born and raised in North America, there is more often than not a struggle between the two about what "brand" of Islam is correct. Up until coming to the Pacific, I think I was of the conventional idea that the Islam we are trying to practice in North America is the "true" kind, while all the rest are those strongly-influenced by the surrounding society's culture.
But, while staying here, I've been exposed to a lot of church groups. For the first time I've truly started to understand the difference between the many Christian denominations I've also learnt about a lot of "traditional" or "conventional" church-related activities. And slowly, I've started realizing that the kind of islam we are preaching/spreading in North America is also, undoubtedly, colored by the surrounding culture. By forgetting that, we think that other, culturally-influenced interpretations of the religion are in someway less "priveleged" or less "progressive" than us. but then seeing progressiveness as a virtue is also dictated by one's culture. In addition, it is becoming very obvious that a lot of activities that Muslim youth groups are doing in Canada specifically are certainly ideas borrowed from Christian churches, and have been introduced by those who converted to Islam from Christianity. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with any with this. But I think, generally, we as young Muslims in Canada sometimes forget that our interpretation of the religious text is also almost always colored and biased by the culture and the daily life-style we are exposed to. I guess it's just something to keep reminding ourselves of.
Emergency?
Did I mention Vanuatu is either the first, second or third most disaster-prone area in the world. In spite of this, it was named the happiest place *and* as far as I can tell, the fatality rate post-disasters is extremely low and very commendable, esp. for a country considered to be in the "Developing" category.
Just an update that we're fine here in Vanuatu.
- First, there was a declared state of national emergency during the first weekend of March due to first-ever ethnic-confict situation in Vanuatu. While the situation was certainly very intense, I was lucky enough to not be living in the neighbourhood where most of the problems were having. So, while we had to stay at home for a day or two, that was the extent of "personal effect" the situation had on us.
- After, BBC reported Vanuatu suffering from a *very* strong earthquake - while I'm told the Richter-scale readings for the earthequake was somewhere in the 6.x or 7.x range, it was something that we barely felt. Well, we did feel it but keeping in mind that CUSO makes sure to arrange very decent housing for all its cooperants, the chances of houses collapsing or us getting hurt were very low (that is, *unless* we were smart enough to be sitting under a cocunut tree, in case a flying cocunut could certainly mean the end of everything!:P)
- Day before yesterday, we were lucky enough to get a day off on account of a Cyclone with a speed between 60 - 70 miles per hour hitting the country. It's senseless and I feel super-immature for saying this, but I was sort of looking forward to just seeing what a cyclone feels like. But, fortunately or unfortunately, the cyclone passed our part of the island by.
So yes, three "emergencies" that happened all within 2 weeks of each other. Did I mention my mom calling my country director to inquire about my well-being after each of these incidents, since my cell phone conveniently decided to receive no signal when she was trying to call? I feel like Robert from "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Marie tries to convince the interviewer about her son's credentials as a good candidate for the Secret Service Agency job he is applying for. Did I mention I get smirks from everybody at the office :P?!
NBDid I mention Vanuatu is either the first, second or third most disaster-prone area in the world. In spite of this, it was named the happiest place *and* as far as I can tell, the fatality rate post-disasters is extremely low and very commendable, esp. for a country considered to be in the "Developing" category.
Just an update that we're fine here in Vanuatu.
- First, there was a declared state of national emergency during the first weekend of March due to first-ever ethnic-confict situation in Vanuatu. While the situation was certainly very intense, I was lucky enough to not be living in the neighbourhood where most of the problems were having. So, while we had to stay at home for a day or two, that was the extent of "personal effect" the situation had on us.
- After, BBC reported Vanuatu suffering from a *very* strong earthquake - while I'm told the Richter-scale readings for the earthequake was somewhere in the 6.x or 7.x range, it was something that we barely felt. Well, we did feel it but keeping in mind that CUSO makes sure to arrange very decent housing for all its cooperants, the chances of houses collapsing or us getting hurt were very low (that is, *unless* we were smart enough to be sitting under a cocunut tree, in case a flying cocunut could certainly mean the end of everything!:P)
- Day before yesterday, we were lucky enough to get a day off on account of a Cyclone with a speed between 60 - 70 miles per hour hitting the country. It's senseless and I feel super-immature for saying this, but I was sort of looking forward to just seeing what a cyclone feels like. But, fortunately or unfortunately, the cyclone passed our part of the island by.
So yes, three "emergencies" that happened all within 2 weeks of each other. Did I mention my mom calling my country director to inquire about my well-being after each of these incidents, since my cell phone conveniently decided to receive no signal when she was trying to call? I feel like Robert from "Everybody Loves Raymond" when Marie tries to convince the interviewer about her son's credentials as a good candidate for the Secret Service Agency job he is applying for. Did I mention I get smirks from everybody at the office :P?!
Edit: This post was written sometime back. The update since then is this: we *also* received a tsunami warning. Once again, Vanuatu wasn't affected (Alhamdulillah) but we *did* get half a day off to "go prepare". How are you supposed to prepare, especially when you are on an island that you can drive around within 3 hours?
ICT
So, I'm working as a "IT Trainer / Officer" while here in Vanuatu. The person who drafted up my Placement description was earlier working as the Women's Development Officer for Shefa Province and is currently the Finance and Admin Officer for CUSO Vanuatu. I discovered that part of her "wishlist" for my job description was to create a computer lab. Which seems like an easy enough task, with the only obstacle being acquiring the funds.
However, over the past 5 months, I've been doing needs assessment to see how things work here, how people work and and what kind of culture is present in the work place and in the society. So, here's the dilemma:
The government is working sufficiently fine so far, with whatever technology it has at this point. Yes, there are ways it could become more cost-effective, more transparent to all and more accountable to its constituents. But, isn't that the case with anything and any working thing.
Point is this: the electricity source is anything but spectacular here. The average computer life is anything from 2 - 5 years. Reasons being the lack of electric constancy for power sources and the very-often natural disasters such as earthquakes and cyclones.
So, by simply training people on ICT usage are we getting them addicted to something that is culturally not their creation? Is this a form of intellectual imperialism?
I was sitting in a meeting with the CEO for the Vanuatu National Council of Women (VNCW). At one point, she mentioned something about how Melanesians aren't too good at reading or writing, but talking is certainly their domain. Is technology a third one of those "well-intentioned" things that will only further strengthen the political-intellectual-economical status quo that allows us, the Western nations, to dominate over all the rest?
literacy vs. equal access
- The education material is printed in English. Anybody who is not proficient in English is unable to benefit from them. The people who are fluent in English are also the ones who were priveleged enough to be able to attend post-secondary school oustide the country. So, this results in a self-contributing circle of inequity and inaccess.
- The people who were never traditional-schooling oriented are the ones doing jobs that do not require too much education. If you try to teach them using the conventional methods, it isn't too helpfull to them and not too productive, results wise. What is needed more is spending one-on-one time with these individuals and going a lot slower than before. *BUT* IF you are hard-pressed for time and pressured to produce quantative results, teaching these people takes last priority as these people would not be able to apply the gained knowledge to be more efficient at their jobs or to help out other locals. But, by virtue of refusing to put in this extra time, are you not practicing discrimination?
- Lastly, my issue with technology: Why is it that we have managed to translate everything into only the main, currently power-dominating countries, such as English, French and Spanish? Yes, it is partly due the popularity demographics: there are more Spanish or French speakers in this world than those speaking Bislama or any of the other 100+ indigenous languages. But I'd like to argue that there is something more sinister behind this: we know that by keeping all mainstream technology in the languages that are historically and geographically our domain, we can continue to maintain a higher step on the intellectual status-quo.
*So, I'm NOT an expert on collective cultures?*
During one of my Peace and Conflict Studies courses, our professor, who is an experienced negotiator and mediator mentioned an anecdote from his expereince in South Africa: he met some local guy and invited him to come over and stay whenever the local guy was in the town where the professor stayed. We were talking about cultural misunderstanding, and the professor told us how, in that cultural context, his "stay with us for a few days" invitation was mis-interpreted as "stay with us, period." by the other.
Honestly, the thought that crossed my mind while the professor was relating his story was that these "white" people, have no patience and absolutely no experience of communal living. Of course, if I *with arrogance* was ever in that position, I would've never wanted him to leave and would've certainly dealt with it in a better with. After all, I did live in Pakistan for 13 years of my life (which, in my eyes, automatically made me an expert on *all* collective culture living-strategies).
Last weekend, I had a very strong reminder of my arrogance and ignorance. There is a village close to town, called Mele. There's a muslim community there, with the total number of muslims ranging anywhere from 30 - 70 people. So, I make sure to go out there every Friday just to have some contact with others of the same religion. So, last Friday, when I went out for Jumah (the Friday prayers that are said in congregation at a mosque), I invited these girls over to my place for the weekend and told them that they could sleep over at my place if they wanted. I guess my intended meaning and the received meaning at their end was completely different - they did come over but did not leave until I had to leave for work 3 days later. Even then, there was the expectation that I should tell them to stay over at my place while I was gone to work.
Girl uses cellphone to make calls to Fiji and other Pacific countries. I should give benefit of doubt, and assume that she doesn't realize how costly international calls are? Or maybe, it's a culture thing, where whatever is mine is theirs and tehre isn't that increased sense of material attachment we in the West experience? But there's always that nagging sound that will come up with rebuttals, such as, "if she didn't think it was wrong to call, why did she call only when I was gone out or in the washroom? Why did she think she would have to hide if she didn't know that it was wrong?".
All these constant negative feelings, especially those surrounding money, are really annoying and distracting, especially because I always prided myself on being as un-materialistic as is humanly possible for me.
Also, I always frowned at those volunteers or expats who said things like "these people always walk slow" or "these people this" or these people that." So, again, it's extremely disturbing to realize that I myself take on taht condescending tone when frustrated, tired or mentally-exhausted with cultural stuff.
But one positive thing is that I am finally starting to understand, a bit more, the tendency of humans to stick wtiht hose simliar to them, be it by virtue of language, culture, origin, ethnicity or religion. Also, I have new found respect and admiration for those who can somehow magically happen to cross these invisible borders. And needless to say, now I see the rationale behind all those organizations throwing huge amounts of money towards thigns like inter-faith/inter-ethnic/inter-cultural dialouge. In fact, I'd go as far as saying that while infrastructure funding is certainly important in conflict or post-conflict situations, the same, if not more money, should be spent towards re-building the emotional bridges between the affected communities.
Racism *yet again*
"We can ask ourselves, what can witnesses to racist acts and racial comments, do? Oppose the behaviour, not the person - don't accuse them of racism. People are rarely open to listening to feedback if it is not respectful, and if you label the person, you'll lose them. Tell them that comment made you uncomfortable, because to you it's a put- down. Say something. As Martin Luther King Jr. paraphrased the English philosopher Edmund Burke, " all that evil requires to triumph is for good people to remain silent."
Question: is is really possible to seperate the person and the problem, esp. if the received comment is a very sensitive topic for you?
Anecdote: I highly doubt that I have the wisdom to prove it, but my wisdom teeth are coming out (get it, "it is joke" :P). I was pretty determined to ignore the pain, sicne neither CUSO nor OHIP covers dental anymore. But, it eventually got to a point where I couldn't sleep, eat or sit in one place. So, I decided to go ahead and see the dentist. Now, there are two dentists in all of Vila: both of them expats, but one is a French guy and the other Australian. The french guy charges a hefty price for a mere consultation, but is supposedly great when it comes to knowing his job. But that is also why the earliest appointment he had available was 5 days from the time I called. It had gotten so bad that I wasn't sure that I could wait any more, so instead, I called the other Australian dentist. Now, this guy was willing to give me an appointment *that* very day. I should've known there was a reason he was so willing to have patients. Anyway, I go on ahead since the pain was a bit too much to bear and I tell him that I think it might be wisdom-teeth related but have no idea why it's hurting so bad. Now, while I'm in the middle of this sentence, he just takes his hand and *wituhout wearing gloves, OR, washing his hands* puts his fingers into my mouth. I am really not exagerrating when I say: NO warning, no nothing! I stop talking. He asks me some questions about my braces, but I guess, forgets to take out his fingers from my mouth. When he does stop punching my gums, I start explaining what my orthodontist back in Canada is doing to my teeth and so on. And *again*, he just opens my mouth and pushes his fingers into the back-corner of my mouth. All this time, I'm really trying hard not to get angry, to remain patient and giving him the benefit of doubt.
Anyway, as absoultely uncomfortable and painful as taht entire experience was, I find out one of the three wisdom teeth has an infection. He tells me to take antibiotics and writes a prescription for it. What he *forgets* to tell me is that while he has charged me seperately for the consultation visit, he is also charging 2000 Vt ($20 CAN) to *write* the prescription. Again, I decide not to make a big deal out of this specifically because it hurts so much that I am absolutely desperate to get any medication that will decrease the pain. And then, just when I'm about to step out of the office, he says, "what is a nice muslim girl like you, doing in Vanuatu." Needless to mention, there was special emphasis on the "nice muslim girl" part and his voice was dripping with ridicule and contempt. This was truly the last straw, where I got the angriest I've gotten ever sicne being here in Vanuatu. No, I didn't yell, or sware or anything else. Just looked him straight in the eye, told him he was being racist and discriminatory, and that I was very offended. His reply "oh no, I wouldn't wanna be offensive!" Again, this sentence was pumped full of sarcasm as well!
So, here's the question: I don't think it would've been humanly possible (for me atleast) to sit down and *explain* to him why his comment was offensive to me, especially when he not only knew but also intended it to be hurtful. Are you still supposed to "seperate the person and the problem" at that point? Again, the afore-mentioned quote is great and rational and all of good that stuff, but it is also said by a caucasian person who has absolutely no idea what kind of battles people of color and visible religious minorities have to fight on a daily basis.
On a side note, I met a short-term Australian volunteer at the national women's umbrella organization I'm helping out with during my spare time. She further confirmed by belief that Australia is, by far, the last place I want to go as a head-scarf-donning, non-white Muslim**. According to her (and these are here exact words): "If my friends saw me ... I would be ostracized for even sitting here with you, a Muslim." Did I mention that this woman is *very* succesful in the corporate Australian culture, and so interacts not with "simple-minded" people who haven't had the opportunity to step out of their small clusters, but those who have the most influence on the national policies dictating the country's actions.
Profiling Crimes in Newspapers
Recently, there was an article in the national newspaper about attempted rape of an Australian volnuteer on another island of the country. No surprise that the event made front page, especially since the victim was white and female. However, for whatever reason, her father decided to make a statement similar to saying that only expats were invovled in such attacks, and that Ni-Van women never were on the receiving end of such unfortunate circumstances. But any body who has even the least bit of knowledge of the country, or of the world, knows that such events aren't unique; they happen all the time. The only reason you heard about this one was because the victim was white and didn't have social tabboos that prevented her from taking the story to the media; other's aren't priveleged enough to have the birth-advantage of a lighter skin *or* of not having to live with the afore-mentioned cultural restriction.
Needless to say, within the next 3 days, there was an incident in Vila about something similar. So, the two questions are this:
- While I realize the importance of media and making people aware of such incidents, how much of this flashy-news-making encourages copy-cats?
- To what degree do the racist/offensive things said by the victim in the article enrage other readers, esp. to the extent of taking "collective revenge"?
Women and Religion
So, it won't be any surprise to any of the Muslim readers of this blog that coming to Vanuatu was a bit of a struggle, in terms of getting permission from the parents and the general approval of the extended family and general society. That's obviously not to say that all the forces-that-be are happy with my current decision to be here, but fact remains that I am here in the country and so somehow half the battle was in my favor.
Just recently, I've been reading a book by an American journalist about her experiences in India. The books called "May You be the Mother of a hundred sons." And this is what I've been thinking since:
- For those women or daughters who decide to not make their mothers unhappy by not taking career or personal decisions that are too much in contrast to the socially/culturally accepted standards, how much of this self-sacrificing is chosen and how much of it is forced? In addition, how much of a Muslim women's decisions are based on the true want to make somebody else and how much is based on the expectation that, she, as a woman, is automatically expected to give in to whatever the mainstream and regurgitated rationale is to keep women from being the best that they can be?
Also, another question: being dutiful to one's parents is highly regarded in Islam. But, what if the request being made by your parents are coming from a cultural mindset rather than an Islamic one? Or what if their interpretation of religous text or selection of religious opinions is coming from a cultural perspective that you believe to be majorly oppressive to certain groups of people? How much are you still responsible of remaining "dutiful" to your parents? More importantly, do you even get "Sawab" (i.e. brownie points in God's eyes) if you are making certain sacrifices out of compulsion rather than out of true choice?
Attention and Crime
wanting attention: what is the relatoin between crimes and the mere want of attention?
So, currently, 50% or more of Vanuatu's population falls in the "youth category". Also, I've talked before about the disappointing situation where lots of these kids come into urban areas but are unable to go to school due to lack of fees and are unable to find jobs even if they have comprabaly-decent education. But, the r eally interesting part is this: in spite of all this, crime is *very* low in Vanuatu, even compared to North America or other developed countries. This is partly because the population isn't too high here, so people don't have to fight for food, place to sleep, and so on. But, besides that, I think the community structure where you are *always* somebody to somebody, deserves to recognized as a very strong deterrent of crime.
So, the usual thing we repeat is: If kids are valued at home and by family than they necessarily dont feel the need to do anything else that will gain them the spotlight, attention or that will help make them feel important.
I would say the same applies here, but when I say family, I not only mean the nuclear family we are used to back in Canada, but I'm most specifically referring to extended family. In fact, I've heard here that whenever a kid is causing problems at home or fighting with his parents, he just picks up and leaves. But even when he has "left" and staying in some other part of the island or country, he's still staying with family, maybe an aunt, maybe an uncle.
Crack
NB: This post was written about two months back. I didn't publish it at that point simply because I was a bit taken aback by the comments I had received about the blog. But over time, even after toning down on a lot of stuff I wanted to write, I continue to get the same comments. So I figure, if I'm scaring people even when I try not to, might as well don't worry about holding back.
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"Ring the bells that still can ring, Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything, That's how the light gets in."
Leonard Cohen from "Anthem"
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I have no idea what context this quote was said in; I simply read it at the end of some anti-racism mailing list and in classic style, I'm going to assume the context was what I predict it to be.
This post is more of a clarification for all readers:
DON'T CAUSE RIPPLES
I realize the importance of being politicially correct; I also realise that the very characteristic of collective socieities that I praise very often is something I am failing to follow i.e. not causing any problems on the superficial level by avoiding overt "confrontation."
THE HUNTER BECOMES THE HUNTED
I believe that those who fight against prejudice are the most gullible to falling into the trap of being prejudiced against the other. From the looks of it, that has happened to me: I was told by a very close friend and fellow volunteer here in Vanuatu, that she found my blog "intense", because of the over-use of the word "hate" and the blatant referrals to "white people" vs. those who aren't. I have tried reading the blog, but unfortunately, I am unable to pick up the exact posts or lines she is referring to. I apologize for any friends I have offended. Please know that if I personally gave you the blog address, than it was a after very serious consideration on whether or not I thought you would be able to understand that I write only about my daily reality and nobody elses. If my daily reality is colored by a race-perspective, or that of those-with-power vs. those-without, than all I can do is accurately re-tell it all to the best of my ability and hope that somehow, getting to know about this different perspective will make it easier for us as people to get along harmoniously.
JUDGING ME BY MY POSTS
My issue with blogging: people, automatically, will assume that the only thing to you is what you write about. What I'd like to remind *all* readers is that we are human beings; that implies we have complex, non-standardized and usually subjective behaviour, morals and life-policies. So, if I decide to focus all my attention on a few certain issues, it's simply because I personally feel that those issues are what deserve the most attention or those issues are the ones with the least attention being afforded to them. Besides, the activity of predicting somebody's entire composition based on a few lines written by them doesn't seem all that fair or exciting.
MY BOOGEY-MAN
We all need scapegoats, I will readily accept that I use the "white man" as mine. But in all fairness, with all the privelege, power, access and safety that is afforded to us as Westerners, and those with lighter skins, I feel that if anybody can afford being labelled as the boogey-man, it would be this population. While I would strongly say that it is not your fault, as an individual, for the oppresive past actions of nations, I would also like to remind *us* all that we, by virtue of our ancestral past, are in a current position of power or otherwise. Therefore, even though it is not our fault on what our great-grand-fathers did, in my humble opinion, if we are able to reap the dividends for their actios by automatically being able to stake claim to world's 90% riches, than we also should be held accountable for the cost of where these dividends come from. Also, if it's any consolation, I can firmly say that I hold myself to similar stringent standards.
Log - November
- Nov 13: After finishing the last language training session, we headed over to the Vanuatu National Museum for a tour by another CUSO volunteer who's working on digitalising the media at the cultural centre and library. A lot of agencies seem to be doing a lot of good work around retaining and documenting the varying cultural practices from all the islands of Vanuatu. Our tour started off with a quick intro about sand drawings; how they are used as a platform to communicate news about important events or to tell stories to the rest of the people. We were only able to see three or four of the drawings, but certainly a VERY interesting experience.
- Nov 14: Today was supposed to be my first day at work; not exactly "intense" as I signed my job contract and then got to be in the staff picture, without having worked for Shefa for even a minute! After that, we had afternoon CUSO orientation session about the independance struggles of West Papua, an area colonized by Indonesia. Fuller details after, but needless to say that it was an embarrasement to find out that fellow Muslims were doing exactly what we are fighting against in Iraq, Afghanistan and all the other areas taken advantage of in the past; what's worse is that within the Muslim community, there is no awareness about the kind of atrocities being committed by the governement so there is no comdemantion from our side. Anyway, after that went to a place for Pizza, La Pizzeria, and have to say the food was extremely extremely extremely horrible. It took them a good 55 minutes to get my food and once it came, it was so bad that it was impossible to get it past my tongue even though I hadn't eaten the entire day. Somebody once said that the idea of Fast Food doesn't make sense here, and I have to completely agree: either the "Fast Food" has been pre-cooked the previous day and merely warmed when we order, OR, if they cook it, it takes them a good 40 minutes to serve.
- Nov 15: Work - office was locked to walked around talking to people the entire time; invited for dinner @ aussie house
- Nov 16: work - did nothing, again. women's issues - trying to find similarities + differences between chiefs and feudel lords; young women in pakista and young women in pacific; 20 years post-colonizatoin vs. 60 years post-colonization. finished psych test (finally!)
- Nov 17: work - strolled in the market; went to jummah in mele. 50+ muslims on the island; 200 on santo island. attended hip-hop competition after .. good that they take from the anti-opression background but sucks that they are idealizing snoop dog and what not. Amazingly non-vulgar and family-oriented for 99.9% of the time. Freaky dreams about verbal violence: arguments about marriage arrangments between myself and a local ni-van man.
- Nov 19: Eton beach with cuso volunteer. amazes me how the best of people can become the worst of territorial and competitive beings when it comes to their children vs. another child of the same age. Very nice couple and swimming was great! :) Invited aussie people over for dinner as well; cultural mis-communication because the girl was invited but didn't show up?!?
- Nov 20: First day of "real" work; amazing how all the preperation of lack of technical access is never enough to prepare you for the real shock! The CD drive doesn't work in my office OR in the secretary's office; the typist doesn't have a computer! There might be two or three government-owned computers that have a working CD drive.. among 20+ people. Everybody wants to get trained on computers, but HOW?! Internet access is dial-up and the accountant needs to "sanction" or give permission to all who want to use it and for how long. Things take amazingly long; people jus sitting around and chatting, etc. Maybe we feel greater urgency because we are here for only 6 months while they are prob. working here for 2+ years.. sort of like how we slack of at jobs that we have been working at for very long. Walked home and saw sand-drawing exhibition on the way; amazing guy with dreadlocks was the artist. Walked home and saw one of the security-people from guest house.. walked home with him but should I have? people make assumptions AND this is a small town, but is that excuse for me to give everybody a cold shoulder?
- tuesday, Nov 21 = first travelling thing for work. Went to a small village called Epao. CUSO office has been gracious enough to let me use the net @ the office to check my email and communicate as evern they think that the $12/hr cost is just stupid. but got through 4 emails in 45 mins! :(!!! started reading "Race Against Time" by Stephen Lewis.. feel super selfish for being here, rather than somewhere else. I secretly had choice between Laos, Ghana and Vanuatu.. I didn't want to do Laos since that was Asia and I am from Asia.. and Ghana, I didn't think I could do the job so didn't pick that placement. but feel guilty that I got off way tooo easy, as this place is really amazing. people often joke on how interensting it is that I'm doing a field studies for a conflict studies program in the most peaceful place on this planet! and i don't know what to say to them, because no matter what I say is simply going to be an explanation to lie to myself rather than convince others
- wednesday, Nov 22nd - work has RELALY started now. Hard to figure out when to stop taking initiative as people never say no here, and you wouldn't wanna be steepping over toes in the first week only! One of the staff @ the office (the sports and youth coordinator) is the captain of the national team; was playing in some tournament and went to watch him. Saw .5 of mele vs. sheppard islands and .5 of tafea vs. tanna. amazed at how civil and non-angry/swaring people were.. even the ccrowd was amazing: enjoying themselves but not necessarily getting threatening or anything
- thursday, nov 23rd - laptop no hope. jewish guy was freaky in the beginning but now is turning out to be really great. dana is nice but shallow and predictable. met people for a second time and liked them a lot more than before; had dinner and the food came late. conclusion = i'm cursed. amazed at how much people want to learn about computers!! i have councillors, staff, the president of the province and eveyrbody else coming up and telling me that they hope I can make them experts by the end of this trip!
- friday, nov 24th - why did i still take courses? studying when eveyrbody else is out partying :(! side note: I LOVE MANGOES. met the prof from the mosque/prayer thing today. amazing how this new buncha muslims have succesfully embodied all that islam stands for.. kids are well-behaved, people are nice, kids love being in the mosque, etc. wrong view because I'm only watching from afar?
- saturday, nov 25th - village visit organized by CUSO
- sunday, nov 26th - church concert thing .. went with Janet. it's good, but sucks how all these people could believe in the right religion, but they don't.
- monday, nov 27th = finished assignment; thought i was going to be killed since i was @ the office till 7 pm
- tuesday, nov 28th = council meeting FINALLY finished and so they had a barbeque at the end of it; celebrated where eveyrbody would keep coming up and asking me questions about islam while drinking/drunk. but good thing was that people mention your presence by taking your name, which is very honorable of them. ALSO, stood at the back of athe pickup truck while they drove to erakor to drop one person off.. one of the best experiences of my life!! I could feel the skin on my face flapping; that's how fast we were going!! met wtih Willy for lunch, and he has this tendency to argue with EVERYTHING anybody says (and to boss them).. that REALLY pissed of Dana. but she's not to good with hiding expressions of dislike, which is bad. was told me shelly that autnie likes me, even though I'm muslim, since "muslims don't eat with others.". I was really confused/agitated/disappointed by this comment!
- wed, nov 29th: HOLIDAY! :) tried to study; shelly's back and dana obviously doesn't like her! ladies wanted to do something but since they didn't get any pay, they were unable to do anything.
- thurs, nov 30th: LAST TEST OF THIS TERM! :) :) :)
Log - January
- thursday, jan 4th -- FINALLY BACK IN VILA!! Back to running water, running electricty, non-island-style toilets and fans! Never have I craved brownies so much, never have I ever wanted to drink coffee so badly! :P I don't think the village experience could've gone ANY better, but that one week was more than enough to serve as a rude reminder that I'm too used to the common luxuries of city life. And as much as we want to romanticize the notion of simple life, I can see why so many of the youth bow down the pressure and convenience of moving to urban settings.
- friday, jan 5th --
- saturday, jan 6th -- The other night we were having a movie night at another volunteer's house, where, sitting around on the dinner table, we were doing a head-count of where everybody is from. So, a French volunteer is pointing at everybody and saying what country eveyrbody is from and points to me and says, "where are you from"
me: Canada
French volunteer: oh? *suspiciously trying to figure out if I'm trying to get away with a white-lie or cracking a joke*
me: silent, getting really annoyed, but also enjoying how awkward it is for all the other volunteers.. after a 2 second lapse, I raise my eyebrows as to further drill in the fact that I was neither lying nor trying to be funny
French volunteer: *pauses* for another 1 second... oh okay. well, you're from Australia (pointing at the next person on the table!)
Again, I'd be a bit more patient if it were somebody who lives in country with a small immigrant population, but for God's sake, Muslims make up the second-biggest religion group in France!! Why in the world than does it come as a shocker that I could be from some non-Arab or non-Muslim country!
- sunday, jan 7th --
- monday, jan 8th -- work is finally happening; i've got people coming into classes and the accoutnatn got laid off or his contract finished, so I can finally start putting internet access on all of the 7 computers in the building! :) worked on resume with dana yesterday (cut it down an entire page from 6 to 5 pages :P!) and was supposed to finish editing the thing so that we could work on it together on tuesday, but instead, ended up reading Chocolat. This brings my book score to a whopping total of 9!!! This almost makes it equal to 1 book for each week. Now for the book worms reading this, it might not be much keeping in mind that I'm not in school and only working 9 - 5ish everyday. But, I'd like to remind you at this point that this is coming from a person who can quite unashamedly claim to not have read ANY complete books for the past 2 years (MINIMUM!). What's even more astonishing is that this record also includes course books that I was supposed to have read cover-to-cover biut never did, with much gratitude to pinkmonkey.com and other such "help" sites :P
- tuesday, jan 9th -- sick, again! i seriously need to build up my immune system because it is definately no-fun getting sick at least twice (if not more) during every season. important to note that the frequency of me catching a cold or flu is the same back in Canada, so definately not the place or geography that is causing it. Anyway, reached work @ 8:30 (work starts @ 7:30!) and was out of there by 10:30 because flu was too strong and I couldn't stand up any longer. (talk about being dedicated to work, lol!) lay around from 11 am until 5 pm and then met dana for dinner. went to a french place for dinner and they overcharged us by 200 vatu but neitehr of said anything (wimps? no! just simply scared to make fools of ourselves by trying to explain the entire miscalculation in french :P). i think I'm finally starting to get into tea, since, for the first time in my life, I actually enjoyed drinking tea. In all fairness, this was a puny, no-strength, fruit-flavored herbal tea but I can still claim that at one point in my life, I actually enjoyed drinking the atrocity that is called tea :P!
- thursday, jan 11th -- met dana for dinner so that she could help me with resume. the cyber cafe kitchen closes @ 6 pm but hteir open until 7:30 pm; we sat around for a bit but they didn't come to tell us taht we were just wasting our time. Than, walked down to one of the chinese stores for "kakae" and ate some chicken-y stuff in super-warm waether. took a bus back to the house and worked on my resume till 10 pm. could tell that being tired/sleepy was making dana less patient: wonder how many less fights/problems/etc we would have if everybody slept 9 hours a night back in North America.
- friday, jan 12th -- went to CUSO office after work to discuss position details with particia, the original WDO. did that till 5:15ish and then wanted ot use the computer to check my email etc. *record "you aren't going to meet people" coversation with Willy* Also, 99% of the other volunteers are white, and if that isn't enough to make one feel like an outsider, it's the fact that I am *not* well-versed at all about Australian pop/mainstream culture! Anyway, walked back home to "no freinds" and slept because I just wanted to do my own thang.
- saturday, jan 13th -- went to swim in solwata with eratap family. hard to catch a bus, and when moses dropped us off home, he dropped us off @ erakor village instead of eratap village. anyway, got there @ 10:30 when we were supposed to get there @ 9:30. stayed till about 2:30ish (long walk to the beach, a good 30 - 40 minutes I think) and then the village bus dropped us back home. dana was supposed to come over but she didn't; stayed @ home from 4 - night time and cooked myself a macroni + carrot + canned meat dinner. moses called around 6ish and wanted to come over with dinner: how do you tell somebody to not pursue/woo you? argh! spent entire evening thinking about it, and hate that when something is worrisome enough to preoccupy me and stop me from enjoying myself!
- sunday, jan 14th -- woke up super early again and started working on resume, work eamils and applications. rafia and khadijah from mele village were supposed to come over but they called around 10 to let me knwo that they weren't coming. so, instead, i called nigerian lady and told her I'd be coming around 4ish. Was thinking of going to bon marche around 1ish when the neighbours (or the landlord's borhters) called me out to eat with them. "bodwon" is made up of island cabbage, fish, coconut milk and two other kinds of leaves cooked in the stone-fire-thing. REALLY filling (couldn't breathe after!) and I ate a fish eye-ball for the first time. nigerian lady is going to get a little bit getting used to: has been living in this country for 10 years and *still* does not know bislama. *record kava("esp. ladies") + meat conversation*. just a bit frustrated as I haven't ahd to deal with this kind of htought-process for a VERY long time. She dropped me off home around 6ish and Dana called around maghrib time (6:30ish) about a movie playing at the nambawan cafe. WEnt to watch the first half of 2nd of pirates of carribean but, by 9pm, was too tired and ended up leaving before the movie ended.
- monday, jan 15th -- this week has been a blur!
- tuesday, jan 16th -- ??
- saturday, jan 20th -- I think I'm going crazy! I made sure to bring plenty-stuff wtih me to do, enough books to read, and an overwhelming list of personal-"fix me"-projects (e.g. learn how to play the harmonica, learn how to cook, learn how to sketch, learn how to sew, and the list goes on...) but every weekend I can't wait to get out of this country. And then the work week begins, and I'm forced to completley change my mind once again. It's not that there isn't much to do; there's tonnes of other volunteers in town (Australian primarliy, but PeaceCorps, VSOs, and so on). There's also the super-gorgeous beaches that are truly nothing short of a miracle. But it's especially hard to make sense of my purpose here when I know I'm away from family, and when I know this is no-where close to the conflict/human-rights/poverty related stuff I ideally would like to be doing. Oh, don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. Things have been nothing short of perfect here: more than enough to eat, a VERY good space to sleep/live in, patient locals who are willing to chat it up with you, plenty other expats incase of times when you get homesick, all that good stuff. But the very fact that there are not too many grave human rights violations taking place and that this volunteer placement is more of a vacation than a test nullifies the sense of being here; I'm sure there are a gazillion other places in this world where the Canadian government would be better suited to spend their money.
Anyway, finally, around 4 pm, there was somethign to do: WATCH A MOVIE! Ah, how original. But desperate times ask for desperate measures, and weekends DEFINATELY fit that category. So, I spent the rest of the evening re-watching movies that I've already watched and didn't enjoy too much in the first place anyways: My Best Friend's Wedding and Mona Lisa Smile. It was specifically thrown as a girl-only-night so it was pretty fun in that sense, just getting to know the girls (not that the boy-volunteer cause much of an issue when they're around.)
- sunday, jan 21st -- sketched for the first time. Hard to realize that all this free time and lack of social activity are a blessing. Rather than wasting it away doing meaningless stuff, I should really be using this time to finish the gazillion self-improvement projects I have always wanted to udnertake (e.g. learn how to play an instrument, learn how to draw/sketch/pain/anything else artistic, learn how to cook, learn about Christianity and Judaism, finish the tafseer/seerah, read viciously). Also, was invited to go to Brakas; it's hilarious because one of the only few times I have felt unwelcome here is when I had to go resorts or other expat-dominated areas.
- monday, jan 22nd -- Seems like everybody has gone on vacation after the very-strenous corporate-plan-launch weekend. Shouldn't be complaining as I allows me to do planning for the next three months and to see if I can fit in field visits during my next few months here. I'm still waiting to hear back from Catherine, the CUSO country director, on whether or not my contract here can get extended for a month or two.
- wednesday, jan 24th -- finally spoke with Patty and have the feeling that my contract will get extended by a month or two more; not to great because it means that I'll have to miss the summer-term of school (I can just imagine how my mom would react to that news!)
- friday, jan 26th -- friday beer @ CUSO office; hard to figure out things, such as the fact taht we are supposed to bring our own drinks for the friday beer (who would've known!). Then, went out ot dinner @ chinese restuarant and had a really great frish fish with sweet corn sauce dish with rice. The portions were huge!
- saturday, jan 27th -- Went to Secret Gardens. SO MUCH FUN! :) Learning how to sketch finally, really great! Also, I think I'm finally beginning to realize the humangos taste (and nutrition) difference between pre-packaged vs. fresh food. Woke up to see two cockroaches crawling up my legs, which is alright, just freaky. Everytime I start to think I'm "okay" with insects, I get freaky over some new crawler/creeper. But lesson of the day: Cockroaches can, and DO, bite!
- sunday, jan 28th -- Going to Hide-Away Island with bunch of aussie volunteers. things are finally starting to fare better;
- monday, jan 29th -- bllurrr!
- tuesday, jan 30th -- went for dinner @ danas place and played da vinci code with her roomies. So, doing engineering for two years and then flunking out in the end wasn't completely wasteful.
- wednesday, jan 31st -- movie: Lock Stock and Barrle. Thanks to my bro, I've watched it 4+ times already. Got my contract extension to stay here until end of June, but if I want, I could possibly extend it two more months after that as well.
Log - February
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thursday, feb 1st -- went to Curry Night; paid $22 to eat what my mom cooks all the time. Dana offended by blog: hmm!? nice buncha aussies working for some "secret" company (even made it in the news!). "yellow fever."
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friday, feb 2nd -- girls night in, now that dana's single. we're trying to decide on a movie but dana doesn't like action and I think I'm going to barf the next time I have to watch a lovey-dovey chick flick. Regardless, I bow in simply because it should be Dana's night. So we watch "The little black book", an overwhelmingly annoying movie about a girl who can help but be needy and cute ALL THE TIME!. Argh. I miss watching movie with my younger brother! :(
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saturday, feb 3rd -- We were suppoed to go glass-bottom-kayaking but I had to back out at the last minute on account of not feeling well (I love how that excuse keeps coming up again and agian and again). Either way, we still met up in the evening to go to a concert featuring "Famous Bands" *and* "Famous String Bands". We were hoping that the former would go first, so that we could quietly leave when the string bands came up. But no such luck. Also, have to say I always thought other volunteers who have been in Vanuatu for a longer time were simply being culturally-insensitive when they talked about getting tired of string bands, but I can understand how anybody could be driven to destroying all musical instruments after listening to string bands for 4 hours straight; did I mention we couldn't understand most of the songs even though they were in Bislama, so truly they all ended up sounding almost hte same. Well, all but Shakura who is trying out some really cool stuff. Will definately have to buy one of their CDs before leaving. Anyway, by the time the pop bands came up, the crowd had been getting drunker and drunker, and being the wimps taht we are, myself and Dana decided that it would be better to go home early-ish (close to 12:30 am) rather than risk getting harrased by drunk teenage boys. So, we left after only hearing 1 of the 6 pop bands who were supposed to play!
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sunday, feb 4th -- So, the Australian volunteers are throwing a tea party thing. awkward and the entire conversation was very "polite." i.e. superficial and meaningless.
- mon, feb 5th -- ?
- tues, feb 6th -- ?
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wed, feb 7th -- finally saw lost in translation. move is somewhat unassuming.
- thurs, feb 8th -- ?
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fri, feb 9th - went to emao. horrible reminders of ship trip from tanna. people were super nice and i ate mroe than i should have before gettingo n the bus. love how people will just sit down and talk etc. rather than making it very formal/ painful etc. it was good! :)
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sat, feb 10th -- was supposed to go kayaking but it was raining cats and dogs the entire week, so didn't end up going out anywhere. later went to a play put on by Vanuatu Amateur Theatre Society. The first one-man act was interesting, esp. with the guy imitating the stuttering part. But the next two were not so fun (boring-ish).
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sun, feb 11th -- met janet @ work because she's going away on maternity leave and need to do a few pre-departure overlap meetings. later, stuck around @ the park until the movie started aroudn 6ish (Billy Elliot, the Musical). it was good. the 20-yr-old guy ketp making eye contact / conversation wtih dana and completely pretended like I didn't exist. wtf?
- mon, feb 12th -- ?
- tues, feb 13th -- ?
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wed, feb 14th -- celebrated valentines day with dana and other ni-van girls by watching "Love Actually" @ Numbawan Cafe
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fri, feb 16th -- paul's mom had operation so spent entire evning with her @ hospital. later, cooked daal for the first time and had dana / paul over for dinner. dana moved into house just down the street from me.
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sat, feb 17th -- cleaned like crazy. kitty is really not taking well to the whole toilet-training thing. than went to visit anna @ 4ish. stayed there till 6:30ish. shelley, fijian girl called aroun 7:30ish and came to visit me; picked me up and we wnet back to tebakoro guest house; horrible feeling to constantly be reminded of break-in night and of the fact taht her bf offered to sleep with me. got dropped back off @ 1:30 am on sunday morning.
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sun, feb 18th -- free rides @ club hippique so went and rode. Really thankful to my parents for giving me the chacne to learn riding. It was fun going out with becs and other ni-van girl. came back home and slept the rest of the day (realized I've become extremely Lazy!!)
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mon, feb 19th -- ?
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tues, feb 20th -- First drumming classes. VERY nice!!! I'm tone deaf and I can barely play drums but enjoying every minute of it. Amazing /nice suprise to find out that Tim, tha Aussie volunteer, is giving me lessons for free! Just have to figure out a way of re-paying the favor!
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wed, feb 21st -- what movie?
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thurs, feb 22nd -- First french class. absolutely overwhelmed by everything the teacher was saying. Had chinese food with dana (new tradition) and came back home and practiced french for a good hour after that.
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fri, feb 23rd -- went to pauningiso with work for a stone-setting ceremnony. hilarious because it was like a field trip in kindergarden. the people kpet nudging each other awake (it was funyn to wake up somebody!!) :P good food. crazy hot that we had to stand only for 10 minutes in the sun but people were *literally* dropping with sweat that they needed a towel to wipe the sweat off. church group was singing and that was the entertainment for the day; amazing way to not only display talent, but also engage youth and make eveyrbody feel important/special on such a community day. after, went to cuso office to check email but got so bogged up with the internet that ended up missing a chruch-youth-group event I was invited to. Resolved that I dont want to have internet access @ home since it takes up soo much time and doesn't give the feeling of wasting time or addiction. So, in those ways, its worse than having a tv @ home!
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sat, feb 24th -- dana got broken into and spent the entire day just being with her. after, were invited to nics party in the evening and just went there around 5ish. dana slept over my place that night.
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sun, feb 25th -- lazed around. was supposed to go over to pango for a chruch ceremony (invited by monica kalwat) but it was raining like craz and was busy sopending the day with dana. after, went to movie (madagascar) @ numbawan cafe and ran into samsun and his friend from santo. felt veryu unsafe walking back home so took the bus instead.
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mon, feb 26th -- catherine invited us over to go to Moso with her, so that dana could get out of vila for a day and I tagged along. Great trip because we took a not-too-long boat ride to a next island and sat around where they cooked kakae for us. AFter, we all went up for a walk tot he turtle conservation point (about 1 hour uphill walk, across, through the bush and then 2 hours along the sea shore. I wimped out and oinly did half the sea shore walk and napped while the rest of them sweated it out. Than, one hour walk back to the campsite). After, found out that when people say "not long way too much", it can often means 30 - 40 minutes of walking to them. Ended up sleeping in the bungalows (VERY nice!). Woke up next morning, sat around on a ____ and attended a village meeting. After, went ot work directly and went to my second drumming classes right after that.
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tues, feb 27th -- second drumming class. Tim gave me drumming sticks to practice with so I figured out a way of *pretending* like I have a drum set and practicing on my legs + pillow. Thanks to this, I didn't sound abosultely horrific on my second day, even though to say that I'm bearable would be a very generous exagerration. After, went over to visit Dana at Whispering Coral, which is on the same road as my house but a B&B which is often used by those PeaceCorps who are visiting from the outer islands. Ran into Sultan, a Muslim African-American guy who's placed on Malekula but (1) I didnt want ot make assumptions about his religion and (2) was too tired to make conversation. So, only said hello and left after that. Now, have to try and run into him so that I can tell him about the mosque in Mele, jummah, and so on.
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wed, feb 28th -- Alliance Francais was playing a documentary on Zidane and myself and dana really really wanted to watch it, we even went. But it was all in French and we realized that 2 hours of french class didn't give us the skill to full understand spoken French. Instead, I went to Numbawan cafe for SinCity. It's an interesting movie, but again, I realized that my attention span has shrinked to a miniscule size. At intermission, I realized I'd much rather get some rest than sit through another part of the movie. So, walked back home even though I was a bit intrigued to find out what happens in the end.
